Tag: marriage

Apologetics · cultural · evangelism

Christian Against Christian? The Divisiveness of Sin.

Bob Snyder1 Comment

I’ve been reading lots of unbiblical articles and posts, written by Christians who are criticizing the opponents of gay marriage. Most of these articles misquote and twist scripture. Which is interesting in itself, because they accuse the conservative Christians of doing that very thing. They say things like, “Christians shouldn’t judge.” We all have heard this canard and recognize it as a misunderstanding of scripture. We are to judge what God has already judged in His word and we are supposed to live our lives by it. He is the author of the law. Our laws are supposed to agree with His and they are supposed to be used in the process of judging right from wrong and good from evil. Government is ordained to agree with His laws and enforce them for the good of His people. Secularists don’t get this and won’t, unless they become regenerated by God. One of the things that strikes me from Romans 1 is this statement from God. “and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.”(Romans 1:32 NASB) Did you get that last part, “Christians?” This part here, “give hearty approval to those who practice them” This is why we can’t give our approval to redefining marriage to accommodate what by definition can’t be called marriage. I am surprised that Christians could give their approval to what is against God’s decree.
The other thing I am surprised by is the lack of understanding, grace, and love towards a world that is dying in sin. We can’t put our noses in the air and only say, “gays are going to hell.” We also can’t just expect them to see our loving example and then repent and put their faith in Christ. So there are two extreme reactions we are having to this. One is the extreme of disdain without mercy, the other extreme is love without truth. Both leave the sinner without the necessary information.
We have to temper our response to sinners sinning. We should not be surprised when people act in keeping with their natures. What should our response look like? It should reasonably and accurately proclaim the truth of the Bible in a loving attitude that is genuinely concerned that the person they are addressing is headed to eternal torment where God will be pouring out His wrath on them for ever. If you are not moved by that thought to proclaim the love of Christ as expressed by His work on the cross, then you need to examine your heart. The regeneration of the sinner by the Holy Spirit does not leave a person the same. Christ’s love is not permissive or tolerant of sin. It is a perfecting love that conforms the regenerate into His likeness.

cultural

No respect for the sanctity of marriage, family, or life.

Bob SnyderLeave a comment

The way Satan has used liberal secularism to corrupt society.

Sin in the hearts of the spiritually dead and dark aligned with the will of their master have been at work in this world system for a long time. What we see here in America is nothing new, but it is new to us. During the sexual revolution in the 60’s and 70’s we saw rebellion against God in the form of sensual liberty come to fruition. It was fueled by men and women who desired sex without submission to God or commitment to a spouse. This of course lead to the popularization of the, “no fault divorce.” Some of the lawmakers meant well. They sought to fix a problem with corruption and lies used to get a favorable divorce. One of those lawmakers was Ronald Reagan, who later on referred to it as one of his biggest mistakes. Here is a link to an informative article about the development of divorce in America.

Whenever we think that we can get away with condoning a sin, culture wide, in the nation we are deceived. Look at the repercussions of divorce. It is obvious the damage it has done to our society since it has become an acceptable part of our culture. Then with it has come the alleged sexual liberation of women. This is a lie from Satan. Women have actually just tightened the bonds of their slave master. They have become even more oppressed by the enemy. His hatred for God and His creations is so palpable to the regenerated that we wonder why the world cannot see it. Of course we know that they are blind and dead in their sin. We do understand. We just find ourselves in awe of the depravity masquerading as freedom. Hasn’t that always been the method, inversion of the gospel, to make Satan the liberator? Satan in the garden questioned God’s word and ensured Adam and Eve that they would not die and that God didn’t want them to become like Him. He deceives us into thinking that we shouldn’t have to be subject to God and that we should do what we feel like doing.

After divorce came rampant sex outside of marriage otherwise known as adultery. Some of you might be saying, “Hold on there! Adultery is when you cheat on your spouse, not sex as a single person with other single people.” Well, you’d be wrong. If you read God’s word it is evident that marriage between one man and one woman is the only ordained and acceptable relationship in which to have sex. This is not a thing to be redefined by society. It is a command of God. Everyone who is having sex with someone they are not married to is an adulterer. Everyone who divorces their spouse for reasons other than adultery is an adulterer. Since society has made marriageless sex culturally acceptable. We can see the consequences in conjunction with divorce. There are millions of fatherless children, millions of single mothers, millions of deadbeat dads, and to deal with the consequences, or judgments from God, we don’t repent. Instead we make abortion culturally acceptable. That’s right, murder, infanticide, America’s best way to cut down the number of, “unwanted pregnancies.” Murder is murder no matter how you phrase it. As we experience judgment from God for our wickedness, we don’t repent. We just keep on piling on the punishment. Our national notion is, “Hey, now that we have progressed socially so much let’s progress some more. We have finally beaten those stupid, bigoted, cavemen. They are silenced now by anti-discrimination laws, so let’s get all of our agenda.”

Now we have the addition of the gay agenda and gender identity sin. Homosexuality is actually a judgment of God upon a nation. We have been given over to it because of our rebellion. America is under judgment right now. Things will get worse if as a nation we don’t come to God in repentance. People will be identifying themselves as animals and marrying animals. Pedophilia will become a protected minority. It is disgusting. How long will this go on?

The things that God has set apart, the enemy has been systematically taking apart. We just sit by and cry about our situation. We need to get off our hind ends and be the salt and light. We need to take the God’s honest truth out into the world and proclaim it at all costs. Preach the gospel with words to everyone you come in contact with. Take a stand for Christ and His gospel. If we don’t obey the great commission who will? How can we expect the situation to change if people’s hearts are still bound to the darkness and the enemies will? Preach repentance and faith in Christ and some will be reborn. They will go out and preach and more will be added. The country needs more gospel and less self. Don’t be ashamed of Christ before men or He will be ashamed of you before the Father.

marriage · Theology

All arguments in favor of gay marriage are invalid.

Bob Snyder1 Comment

Regardless of the revisionism that is going on with the liberal, “ahem… theologians” a gay marriage is not an acceptable marriage according to God Himself and His word.  In this few verses spoken by God Himself, incarnated as the Word made flesh, He said in Matthew 19:3-6 in the New Testament, “…3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”…” Oh and if you’re curious that is God/Jesus quoting Himself when God spoke in Genesis.

In Genesis 1:27-28 God says that He created male and female for the purpose of reproduction and that for His glory as more humans equates to more image bearers. Genesis 1:27-28, “…27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” …”

In Genesis 2:24 we have the definition of marriage ordained and officiated by God, “…24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh…”

So any union devised by the darkened heart of sinful humans that isn’t the God ordained and defined union of one man to one woman for life is by Biblical definition not a marriage. You can call it what you want, but it isn’t marriage.  Since Biblical marriage is a religious union the government has no business in it other than protecting our 1st amendment rights.  We should never be forced to condone homosexual marriage or facilitate one, be it in business or our personal lives.  It is an obvious abuse to do so.

Any sexual relations outside of a Biblical marriage are sinful. Homosexual desires are sinful.  Heterosexual lusts are sinful outside of a heterosexual marriage.  Desiring your spouse in a heterosexual marriage is not sinful.  Desiring someone outside of your heterosexual marriage is sinful.  These are very simple concepts people.  God is very clear in His word people.

So since you can’t be married unless it is a heterosexual marriage, and all sex and lust outside of that marriage are sinful, you can see that homosexual lusts and unions are sinful and not to be condoned or in any otherwise facilitated by the Church.

The only people that have problems with this are the ones who want to condone, endorse, and otherwise approve of perversion. “Hey! I don’t like being called a pervert or thinking of myself as a pervert!  I know!  I’ll twist God’s word around or completely disregard it and live in disbelief of Him.  That way I can justify my perversion instead of repenting and being forgiven.”  Wow! What a mess.

Listen folks every Christian is no better than the vilest offender. The Bible says we all deserve to be killed by God, sent to Hell, and to have God’s wrath poured out on us for all eternity because we are sinners.  Romans 3:23, “…23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, …”Even just a lie makes you worthy of hell.  Revelation 21:8, “…8 “But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”…”  Proverbs 12:22, “…22 Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are His delight…”  God sees a lustful thought as adultery.  Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “…but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart…”

We don’t hate liars and we don’t hate homosexuals. There are Christians who were once liars, and homosexuals, but they have repented of their sins and put their faith in Jesus to save them.  1 Corinthians 6:9-11, “…9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. …”

Why would anyone being saved by grace hate a person who hasn’t been? Maybe you haven’t experienced hate from a Christian; maybe they have just told you the truth in love?  Proverbs 27:6, “…6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy…”  We don’t want you to die and go to hell for being an unrepentant sinner.  We just want you to experience saving grace through saving faith and repentance given by God.

Forgiveness of sins is available to you. Jesus, being fully God and man, lived a perfect sinless life, one that you could not live.  He earned all righteousness by obeying the law of God.  He went to the cross and there was crucified, enduring the horrendous torture.  Upon the cross the wrath of God that has been stored up for you upon the Day of Judgment was poured out on Jesus.  He paid your penalty.  Justice has been satisfied for you so that you don’t have to go to Hell and suffer, Jesus suffered for you.  Only He could take the suffering of infinite punishment and survive until it was complete as He is God.  The man Jesus then died, was buried, and resurrected of His own power, thus conquering death and sin.  All we must do in response is to admit that we are sinners who deserve Hell, turn from our sins and begin to fight them, turn towards Jesus, and believe that His work of atonement on the cross paid our sin debt, and set us free to live for Him.  Repent, and believe!  It is that simple to be born again and made into a new person.

Don’t worry, you won’t have to perform gay marriages they said…
marriage

Don’t worry, you won’t have to perform gay marriages they said…

Bob Snyder8 Comments

faimily

This is God’s ordained arrangement, one man, and one woman, together to make a family with children who are created in the image of God to be image bearers of God for His glory.  Not this abomination which is a perversion of God’s will and blasphemous.

lesbowedding

It should literally make you gag and want to upchuck.  It is not, “cute” or, “adorbs.”  It is not brave of them or courageous.  It is sad, sick, and should make us pity them.  They need the gospel.  They need to be saved from their sins and reconciled to God.

Meanwhile here in… Idaho!  One of the most conservative states in the Union…  Uh oh! Gay marriage or jail for you Pastor!!!

This is what the Left has planned for us.  Deep in their hearts they hate God and everyone who is for Him.  They are soft on their tyranny now, but wait, soon they will have us rounded up, executed, and buried in mass unmarked graves.

ges7

You say that kind of thing can’t happen…  Read your history.  Every immoral revolution has executed the people or dogs they claim were holding them back from evolving.  Instead of Jews it will be Christians who are to blame.

Just because it isn’t a “Church” and the couple make money off of performing a wedding, they are being compelled by the laws of Sodom and Gomorrah to do the will of the Whore of Babylon and the Beast. Next they’ll be telling us we have to prepare recipes for human baby stew for the satan worshipers if you own a restaurant.  Does anyone remember when the sight or thought of two men kissing was revolting?  How about two women doing the same?  It was revolting until the media started forcing on us.  Then two women became sexy instead of revolting.  People told me, “Don’t be such a prude!  It is hot.”  I remember telling everyone then that this is what would be happening.  Nobody cared or believed me.  Well, it is still revolting and disgusting.  God calls it and abomination.  It should cause our stomachs to turn, just like blasphemy should.  Those that give hearty approval to such things will also be cheering in the streets as we are drug away to death camps.

http://www.adfmedia.org/News/PRDetail/9364

http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/city-threatens-to-arrest-ministers-who-refuse-to-perform-same-sex-weddings.html

obama-gestapo

Hey and while we’re at it let’s make those evil Christians Pastors turn over their sermons to be scrutinized by the Gestapo for hate speech violations…  Welcome to the Peoples Democratic Republic of Soviet Secular Atheist Communist Anti-Christ Baby Killing Baal worshiping…  Revelation 6:10 and they cried out with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, will You refrain from judging and avenging our blood on those who dwell on the earth?”  So the answer to all of this is, repent and put your faith in Christ!  We are all wretched sinners and without the atoning work of Christ on the cross to accomplish that which all of our corrupt works could not, the  payment for sin’s debt.  Jesus paid it all, because He is our good God and we are totally dependent on Him.

Apologetics · Church · marriage · Theology

United Methodist Church Violates Clear Biblical Truth!

Bob Snyder1 Comment

Frank Schaefer, right, speaks with Rev. Nancy Taylor, left, before a ceremony where Schaefer received an Open Door Award for his public advocacy, June 14, 2014.

Today the United Methodist Church “refrocked” the previously defrocked Pastor Frank Schaefer of Lebanon, Pa.  In 2007 he performed a marriage ceremony between his own son and his son’s homosexual partner in sin.  This action caused the United Methodist Church to revoke his ordination.  They didn’t do this for the right reasons though.  They did it because he violated a rule of the United Methodist Church instead of the fact that he violated and did violence to the word of God.

It was the work of a nine person appeals panel that reversed the decision.  Part of his ordination was vowing to uphold the United Methodists Book of Discipline.  When he performed the ceremony, he violated that vow, and that is why he was defrocked.  I would think the Bible trumps any denominational dogma, but who am I?  This kind of blatant disregard for Biblical truth and authority is shocking to those of us in the faith, but to the goats in the churches and the secular world they are pleased to hear Pastors say what Schaefer said, “Today’s decision by the committee is a hopeful sign for our LGBTQ community. They recognized that I was wrongfully punished for standing with those who are discriminated against.”  You see, to them this validates their position.  The more support they can garner from professing Christians just serves to prop up their platform built on sin and secularism.

We have the simple and easily comprehendible words of God in the Bible.  Therein He tells us that homosexuality is a sin, it is an abomination.  Don’t get me wrong, lying lips are also an abomination and warrant a person being sent to Hell for eternal torment.  We are no better than a homosexual person.  The problem is that people are lying to themselves and others when they say that homosexuality isn’t a sin.  How can a person truly repent of something when they believe it is good?  We know that to be saved and born again a person must repent and put their faith in Jesus.  Why would a person do this if they believe there is nothing wrong with them?  In this world of, “Barney Theology” where I love you and you love me everyone expects us to be a happy family, but this can never be done at the expense of Biblical truth.

Photo by Josh Reynolds/AP

Apologetics · Church · marriage · Theology

Gay marriage, What’s next?

Bob SnyderLeave a comment
To learn who rules over you, simpy find out who you are not allowed to criticize.
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.

In the near future, gay marriage will be a reality across the U.S. It seems that we have become the moral minority. The younger, more liberal crowd and even moderates are on board with it. Even some professing evangelicals are approving gay marriage. I don’t understand it, but it is going to happen. I have resigned myself to it as a certainty.

We’ve been told that all they want is the same rights that we have to be married. Marriage isn’t a right to be conveyed upon a people by a government. Marriage predates any human government or authority. As such, governments can only recognize what God has already ordained. In this post-Christian world of secular morals, government no longer looks to the moral authority of God, who transcends their authority. No, they look to the secular majority for their doctrine. The majority wants gay marriage to be a reality. We can’t stop it from happening. The secularists and the government will take marriage and define it how they will. That does not mean that the marriage is one of Godly ordination.

christian-marriageThe question we need to ask now is, “What’s next?” What will they want from us? I am certain they will want the, “right” to be married in a Christian Church, by a Pastor. Now ask yourselves, “Why would a couple who don’t believe in the authoritative word of God or God Himself, want to be joined in a covenant between Him and a man and a woman? Why would they want to do this in a Church that is dedicated to God? Why would they want a minister of His word to perform the ceremony?” It doesn’t make any sense to us because our minds are being renewed by the reading of His word. We are not worldly thinkers anymore. Our moral authority is external to us. God is our Lord and master, not the sinful world system that enslaves the minds of the unregenerate.

We can’t expect them to change their minds and be reasonable. They are deceived by their very own sinful natures. It is this fact that drives them to pervert every good thing from God. They will keep doing this because they are His enemies. Because we love the Lord and are His children, the world will hate us for His namesake. This is just one step on the path to full open persecution of Christians in America. The next step will be to punish Churches that won’t perform the ceremony for them. Then it will be to arrest anyone who preaches from the Bible about Hell, sin, and mankind’s wretched state. It will be a, “hate-speech” violation to call a person a sinner and to suggest that God is anything other than love. Try it now. Try preaching the justice of God and His sovereignty. Try preaching that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Preach that all are destined for eternal torment in Hell lest they repent and put their faith in the exclusivity of the saving grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is the utmost offense, that there is only one way to the Father and that is through Jesus.

If you don’t believe it will happen, then you will be surprised when oppression, in a velvet glove comes to quietly crush you in the night. Then later the gloves will be off and open persecution will come. We will see the type of persecution that happened during the communist revolution in Poland. We will see the persecution that happens to our brothers and sisters in Christ that is happening now all over the world. When it hits home it will be too late. It will be too late for us to be salt and light. There will be nobody to listen to us except to delight in our cries.

For those of you who are secular and reading this… remember. Remember what I have said this day. When it happens while you are young or much older, remember and intervene. Let it be a testimony to you. Let the screams of the tortured bounce around in your head until you see the truth of it. Then, repent and ask God to forgive you for being so very wrong. Repent and put your faith in Him to forgive you for going along with it. He is merciful and trustworthy to forgive a humbled, penitent heart. You can know peace between you and your creator through His finished work on the cross. Jesus has paid the debt that your sin has accrued. He provides righteousness for you upon your regeneration and justification. May God bless you with salvific repentance and faith.

marriage · Uncategorized

Here in Idaho the gays are being very hypocritical against Butch Otter and all of us poor breeders.

Bob SnyderLeave a comment
Homosexual hypocrites and their supporters are no different than the people they hate.
Homosexual hypocrites and their supporters are no different than the people they hate.

 

All the so called poor persecuted sure are putting out some hateful, bigoted, intolerant, rants against Butch Otter. Haters be hatin’ funny, as long as they are doing the name calling it’s ok, but say anything against their personal brand of sin and they get all bent. Guess what kids, we are all sinners and it is NOT ok. We need to repent and put our faith in Christ. Sexual sin is just as bad when a straight person does it. That doesn’t make it right. Just because it is something you can’t change about yourself doesn’t make it right. God changes us. We don’t do it by force of will. If you don’t get that I guess that is your answer as to why. If you could understand repentance and faith you would. I was born a sinner. We all are. Your pet sin needs to be repented of regardless of what it is, whether it is adultery, fornication, porn, lying, hatred, or any other sin your wicked little heart can think of. There is no such thing as a God ordained gay marriage. The government and the people can do what they want. If they vote it in, fine. Just stop hating on us poor breeders for voting our consciences that are in keeping with our worldview.  Here is just one example http://www.boiseweekly.com/CityDesk/archives/2014/05/17/boise-state-public-radio-idaho-brewery-announces-little-bitch-otter-beer

Church · marriage · Theology

Marriage, as a Typological Representation of Christ and the Church.

Bob SnyderLeave a comment

I-DO-Marriage-Series

In today’s culture, many people are embracing the doctrine of egalitarianism, as it is applied in theology. They go so far as to ignore what scripture says. For them, it is more important to conform scripture to the corrupted and sinful judgments of humans, then to be sanctified in obedience, and humility to the standard of scripture.

Egalitarianism, as it is applied to human equality is noble. In so much as it is not improperly applied. It is true that God is no respecter of persons. In His perfect and holy sight we are all justly damnable. Every man, woman, child, from every race, religion, and creed, are all sinners. In Christ we love and treat all with humility. We should consider ourselves as the worst sinners, while considering others better than ourselves. So does this notion of considering others as better than ourselves fit with egalitarianism? A noble idea is not noble at all when seen in the light of true humility and mercy. Christ left majesty and dwelt among His creations in the flesh. He washed the lowly, sinner’s feet, bore our scorn, made propitiation for the expiation of our sins, by enduring the wrath of God until He declared, “It is finished.” Philippians 2:6-11(NASB)

who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

In the true faith we are all equally adopted and justified by Christ, but we mustn’t err by taking egalitarianism so far as it offends the word of God. “How far is that?” you may ask. Scripture, I believe is very clear. It is so clear, in fact that I am not going to list every single verse that refutes it. A plain reading of the scriptures, from beginning to end is an overwhelming avalanche of proof, that God has ordained the complimentary roles of male and female.

Marriage, as a typological representation of Christ and the Church is diminished by egalitarianism. The deeper theologies are robbed of their import by such societal concessions. If we understand that man, through sin, is separated from God and that through Christ he is rejoined, it is a marvelous thing. We see this typological example in marriage. Woman was separated from man. She went out of his flesh. In marriage the woman is joined again by the power of God to her husband. They are beautifully unified again part of the same body. Christ is our head and over us he rules. We the Church are His body, and we submit to His loving rule over us, His bride.  Marriage portrays such a beautiful thing. The gospel of Christ is portrayed in each marriage ceremony. When we see a married couple we should be reminded of the work that Christ did on the cross to justify us with God. When we look upon our beloved wife we should see someone who we would lay down our lives for. When our dear wives look upon us they should see someone who is willing to sacrifice all for them. We all should be mortified at the perversion of marriage in the world. It has been perverted by brazen things like polygamy, and same sex marriage, but even the subtlety of egalitarianism should offend us. Instead we embrace all of these. Ashamed of nothing, proud, and arrogant, we tell God how we will understand Him. We tell God how we will do things, and never truly repent with a bent knee and penitent heart.

Marriage is truly ordained by God. It is a union that should preach the gospel to us as believers and be a witness to the world. Let us pray for God to perform His will in our lives against our fleshly desires. Let us affirm His word and be conformed to His sovereign will in all things.

Uncategorized

Marital Love

Bob SnyderLeave a comment

5_16_LoveLikeJesus_330742342

Marital Love

            When two people get married, usually they are in love.  This is true for Christians and the lost.  What happens when one person stops being in love with the other?  However this comes about, let’s assume that it has happened.  In a marriage of lost people, what is there to keep them together?  Once the one spouse realizes the other is no longer in love with them, why should they stay?  Why would anyone want to stay in a marriage where they are not cherished and loved?  There might be some pragmatic reasons like, convenience, money, or children.  Some people will stick it out just for these reasons.  What is the point of all of that if you don’t have the love of your spouse?  You might as well be living on your own, looking for someone to share love with.

Nobody gets married, thinking that one day they won’t be in love anymore.  People get married to share their love and lives together.  So what happens to a Christian couple when one of them stops feeling in love with the other?  The same thing happens to them, that happens to a lost couple.  About half the time they get divorced.  The others stay married out of pragmatic reasons or some sense of duty or obligation.

How should it be with a Christian couple?  What should the spouse do that has found out their spouse isn’t in love with them anymore?  What should the spouse do that doesn’t feel in love anymore?  Should they divorce and look for someone to be in love with?  Should they stick together because of duty, obligation, or their faith?  We know that God hates divorce.  We read about it in Malachi 2:16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”  So the Christian couple should stay together, but that doesn’t fix the problem.

They are not in love anymore.  Either both of them have no feelings for each other, or one of them has lost their feelings for the other.  How do we resolve this?  What does the bible say about love?  We read this about love and God’s love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, “1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

How pointless is life without love?  The love of Jesus for us, the love we should have for each other is explained in the cross of Christ.  In 1 John 4:7-13 we read this, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.”  Are we starting to get the picture?

Maybe they are not in love anymore because one or both of them feel like they have been wronged or victimized?  If so, they are holding on to hurt feelings and resentment.  Healing of their marriage can’t happen until they forgive each other.  In Matthew 6:15 we read, “but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  Ephesians 4:31-31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

We know that in a marriage there are two sinners living together.  Sins are bound to happen.  One of them will sin against the other and the other might sin back or sin in the way of harboring a grudge, hurt feelings, or resentment.  If these things are left undealt with they will keep coming up to cause problems.  Both people must repent.  Sometimes one person believes they never did anything wrong.  They think, “It is all the other persons fault, I don’t need to repent.  What could I have possible done wrong?  They are the one who hurt me!”  Most of the time, both people are thinking the same thing.  This is why both need to repent and ask not only God to forgive them, but they have to ask for forgiveness from the other.  When you humble yourself and come to someone asking them for something that they can give or deny it takes the power away from you.  You are at their mercy.  Hopefully you have a truly saved spouse who can see their own sin and grant you their forgiveness because of how much they have been forgiven by Christ.

Even still, while you are living in this torment you can’t give up.  As Christians you aren’t allowed to stop loving your spouse just because they aren’t in love with you anymore.  Oh, you might want to.  You might even feel yourself beginning to resent them as you put yourself on the throne of your life.  You might hear, “You poor, poor person you…  You don’t deserve to be treated like that by them!  How dare they!  Don’t they know how good they’ve got it with you?  You’ll teach them!  You’ll leave, and then what will they do?”  So you like what sin is telling you?

Do you want to be on the pitty pot?  You have failed to remember that you are the worst kind of sinner.  Christ bled and died for your sins.  Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  1 John 4:10, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”  Jesus pursued us, our salvation, and the Father’s will, all the way to the cross and the grave.  How dare we give up on forgiving, loving, and repenting!

Sinners who don’t think that they have been loved the way they think they should be, you have been loved by Jesus in spite of your many sins against Him.  Your sins are responsible for His suffering on the cross.  You don’t deserve love!  You deserve death and Hell, being so self-centered, to think that you deserve to be treated with love from anyone is ludicrous.  Repent of your selfishness, ask Jesus to forgive you.  Ask your spouse to forgive you for not loving them selflessly, even if your love is not reciprocated.  Love them, while they are yet, not in love with you.  The only love you need is the love of Christ.  Pour yourself out for them the way Christ did for you, and Love them to the grave.  See your sins, and how much they cost Christ.  Look at your spouse, and see them for what they are.  They are a sinner, just like you, in need of The Saviors’ grace.  Demonstrate love and mercy towards them, because you have experienced the love and mercy of God.  Repent of harboring bitterness and forgive them.  Fill your heart with the love of God and then pour it out as a merciful balm of healing on your marriage.  Together, repent and be restored to each other and God.  God can make all things new, including your marriage.  You should know this, because when you were saved, He made you new.

marriage

Marriage, mutual submission or something else?

Bob SnyderLeave a comment

washing-feetMarriage, mutual submission or something else? I think it is something else. I think to say that, “you mutually submit to one another” misses the bigger picture. I think it is as the Bible says. The wife should submit to her husband, like the church submits to Christ’s authority. The husband should submit to God. Even if it means dying. This is like the submission of Jesus to the Father’s will. If we remember from scripture, Jesus washed the feet of the disciples. Jesus, who is God incarnate, left the majesty of His estate to dwell among us in mortal flesh. He bore the punishment of the sins of those who would be saved. He submitted to death on a cross. Wouldn’t you rather have a husband love you like that, than one that simply, mutually submits to your imperfect human will?