So I was all relaxed, eating some french toast with real maple syrup, and drinking a cup of joe, when something solid hit my lips from inside my coffee cup as I was sipping another drink. I thought for a moment, “Peradventure, this must be a piece of french toast, what was adrift in my sea of hot lifer’s blood? Then again, perhaps not? I must investigate this incongruity!” Aghast was I upon discovery of the truth! Verily, I declare it was the corpse of a recently deceased Musca domestica! (common house fly) There it was in all its horrible glory, taunting me posthumously from the lip of my John Wayne commemorative coffee cup! What did I do you might query? I did what any other man of my stature, and maturity would do. I leapt up with the grace and athleticism a man of my girth, and dexterity possesses, and ran flapping my arms to the bathroom sink, where I expediently flushed said fly coffee from my mouth, rinsed with copious amounts of Listerine™, and prayed to God that the villan had not communicated to me any sundry diseases, curses, or maladies.