Men, Submit to God. Women, submit to God. He says, submit to your Husbands.

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So, you are a modern woman, and you have heard, perhaps even said, “I can do what I want!  You don’t own me!  I don’t need a man!”  Well, if you are Christian woman, you should eschew such ignorant, godless, rhetoric.  It is prideful and selfish.  Very unbecoming of a Christian man or woman.  I am so sick of how the world has been portraying husbands and wives.  Let’s not allow the culture to define us.  Let’s be defined by God’s word.

Imagine a man who claims to be Christian, and won’t submit to God’s word.  Instead of doing what God has commanded, he does what he wants.  Is that a man who is at war with his sinful flesh, or is that a man who is giving into his flesh?

Imagine a man who claims that nobody has ownership of him.  We know that is wrong.   God tells us in His word that our bodies do not belong to us.  A husband’s body belongs to his wife.  A wife’s body belongs also to her husband, but God owns them both.  They are His creatures.  The ones who die in rebellion, will burn forever in Hell.  He will pour out His righteous wrath on them for eternity.

Imagine now, an arrogant, prideful, man exclaiming that he doesn’t need a woman.  That man is calling God a liar.  Why, the very first book in God’s word explains why He made Eve.  It was because it was not good for man to be alone.  God made for him a helpmate.  Everyone knows that men need women.  If we are to be fruitful and multiply it is obvious.  So, to subdue the Earth, we must have wives and they must have husbands.

Modern notions of gender are so diabolically satanic.  They defile, degrade, and mock what God has made for our good and His glory.  The enemy loves it every time a feminist howls in rebellion, every time a man becomes a selfish boy.  We need to embrace our roles as God has defined and ordained them to be.  We should reject what culture says.  The cultural hermeneutic says, “The verses in the Bible that tell a woman to submit to her husband, the verses that say a woman should not teach or have authority over a man, the verses that tell men to support their families, to be the spiritual leaders of their homes and Churches, the word of God that tells us how to live as godly men and women should not be applied as God intended because modern culture’s consensus is superior.”  Well, last time I checked, we don’t ask culture to explain God to us, we read His words and hear straight from God Himself in the reading of it.  I don’t have to consult the latest social pundits.  God has spoken, and He has done so with the ultimate authority that entails.

Want to know why your marriage doesn’t work?  Want to know why you are miserable in your Church?  Want to know why your children run your home?  Simple, you have forsaken God’s will as expressed in His word.  Rebels and scoundrels, each and every one of us!  Repent and believe the word of God and live to please the Savior who has bled and suffered for you on the cross of His crucifixion.  Christ submitted to the will of the Father to cleanse for Himself a bride.  That bride is the Church.  It submits to Christ.  Submit yourselves to His headship as Lord and master of your lives.  This means even unto death.  We must love our wives as Christ loved the Church.  Christ died for us while we were yet sinners.  We did not deserve His love or sacrifice.  We were, by nature His enemies, and He died to save us.  Men, love your wives when they don’t deserve it.  Women love your husbands when they don’t deserve it.  Men, submit to Christ.  Women, submit to your husbands, not because he says to, but because the one, true, living God, almighty says to!

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
[Ephesians 5:22-33 KJV]

Husband, head, protector, provider.  Not what T.V. says, not what the movies show.

Toxic People, Toxic Relationships, a New Age Cop out.

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How many times have you heard from one of your married friends who is being left by their spouse, “We were just toxic together.”  Probably as many times as you’ve heard, “He/She was just toxic for me.”  People complain, “I’m just not happy.  I deserve to be happy.”  So many of my friends, as of late, have had these things said to them, usually followed by, “I don’t love you anymore.”  For good measure they might even throw in a, “You are controlling and abusive, I never loved you.”  These are some of the most selfish, and injurious accusations I’ve heard in a long time.  These are also very sinful and rebellious.  They are definitely not Christian sentiments.  I believe they are selfish and used as a cop out.  It is the lie they tell themselves, and others to not put in the hard, sanctifying and gospel exemplifying work that is needed for a life-long covenant between them and God.  

I’d expect to hear this vitriol coming from the lost, but we often hear it coming from professing Christians.  I’ve even seen several articles on supposedly Christian websites that advocate divorcing a toxic person.  Have they forgotten that everyone is a, “toxic person?”  Have they forgotten the power of the gospel?  Have they forgotten that God hates divorce?  If they are saved, and acting/feeling like this then, they are in rebellion, and will be disciplined by God.  If they are false converts, they will receive their just punishment in Hell, where God will be just and right to pour out His wrath on them for all eternity.   

Of course you are in a toxic relationship.  You are a toxic sinner.  Of course your spouse is toxic.  They are a sinner.  When you put two sinners together in a room they are going to sin.  They are going to be selfish, prideful, arrogant, idolatrous, and petty.  Of course you aren’t happy.  You are expecting another person to make you happy.  Guess what…  a sinful person will always let you down.  You will never be fulfilled by another human being.  You can only find the contentment you are looking for in God and His gospel.

Oh, and here is another big shocker, regardless of what you’ve heard, you don’t deserve to be happy!  You are a sinner, like everyone else.  God is perfectly just, holy, righteous, and good.  You have broken His laws and are a guilty sinner.  You and I deserve to be punished.  We don’t deserve to be happy.  You and I deserve to be killed by God, and be sent to Hell for eternity, just like everyone else on the planet.  You see, it is a sin problem, not a relationship problem.  The only way it is a relationship problem is that as sinners we are enemies of God.  If we want peace with Him, we must repent and believe in the work of Christ on the cross, to justify us with God.

We read all of the New Age drivel on websites, blogs, and social media.  We listen to podcasts, and self-help gurus on the radio.  It validates, and justifies the selfish, idolatrous, sinful, thoughts.  Why do people consume these things?  I know why I am here.  I am here to combat the darkness that has been enslaving people, and ruining marriages, children, and families for far too long in this country.  Why are you here?  Are you here to flirt with the darkness?  Do you want to hear something that will give you permission to give up and give in to sin?  Are you being tempted by the New Age malarkey?  Are you setting up false teachers to tickle your ears?  Wake up!  We need to stop behaving like selfish children and truly understand what this means, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  Do you think you are something special?  Do you think you deserved His love?  If it weren’t for His grace, we’d all be lost.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not telling someone who is getting physically abused to stay in the home.  If you are getting physically abused you should be separated.  “Separated” does no mean, “Oh goody, time to commit adultery.”  Being separated for a time can be necessary, but it is always supposed to be temporary.  If your spouse has committed adultery you may divorce them.  If your spouse is an unbeliever, and walks out on you, you may divorce.  If you really understand grace, even though you may divorce them, if they are repentant, you will forgive them and give grace to them, just like the way Christ gave grace to you, instead of what you deserve.

I don’t agree with the modern definition of psychological abuse.  Pretty much any difficult thing you talk about with a person can be deemed abusive anymore.  Obviously if you are a Christian you should not hurt your spouse emotionally.  You should not intentionally or maliciously hurt their feelings.  It is sinful to do so.  Your sin does not justify a divorce though unless it fits the criteria mentioned above.  Christ endured our scorn and ridicule while on the cross, dying for a bunch of sinners.  Do we think we deserve better than Christ?

We all want the romantic fairy tale marriage.  We all want to feel loved.  Some people are living the dream, but it might not have always been that way for them.  How do you think they got there?  It wasn’t by giving in and giving up that is for certain.  They had to fight against their own sin, and forgive the other’s sins, while loving God more than anyone or anything else.  They had to trust and obey God, not their ever-changing emotions.  If you give up you miss out on the sanctification that God has planned for you.  If you give up, you’ll just take your sin problems with you to another sinner and find some other reason to leave them.  You’ll never deal with the real problems as long as you use the cop out excuse of, “They were just toxic, it was a toxic relationship.”

Our only hope in marriage is Jesus Christ.  Our only hope in life and death is Jesus Christ.  If we have been saved from our sins by Christ, then we are obliged to demonstrate the same type of sacrificial love for our spouse.  We love them without any expectations of return on our investment.  We love them because Christ loves us.  Our sins put Christ on the cross.  It is as if we had the hammer and nails in our hands and put Him up there ourselves.  He died for us, knowing that we hated Him.  He got nothing worth having in saving us.  By God’s sanctifying work, the Holy Spirit conforms us to the will and word of God, to be Christlike to the world, including our spouse.  We love them even though they don’t deserve it.  We demonstrate grace to them when they don’t deserve it.  Marriage is a covenant with God, you, and your spouse, for the rest of your life.  It is a picture of the gospel, to be lived out in front of the world.  The husband is the head of the wife, the way that Christ is the head of the Church.  Christ died to save the Church, His bride.  The wife is the representation of the Church, submitting to the Bridegroom who saved her for Himself.  So love one another sacrificially, and stop all of this selfish carnal nonsense.  Obey God and glorify Him in your marriage.