Apologetics · marriage · Theology

If your spouse, or children agree with you all of the time, and that is why you love them, then you don’t love them. You love your beliefs.


If your spouse, or children agree with you all of the time, and that is why you love them, then you don’t love them. You love your beliefs.
I saw this sentiment on fb last night. It got me thinking. How many of us predicate our love for others based on what they believe? I find myself only wanting to associate with people who believe the same as I do. It is easier. There are less arguments and troubles. I guess that is why God is clear in His word that we should as believers only marry other believers. Inside Christianity there are divergent beliefs, that aren’t necessarily unorthodox. We disagree about eschatology, freewill, complimentarianism vs. egalitarianism and so on. If you find yourself not loving a person because they don’t agree with you down the line, I would say that you have a big problem. You do only love your beliefs and not the people God has brought into your life. If beliefs don’t matter in regards to how you love someone, then your love begins to look more like the converting love of God. God loves the unregenerate sinner whom He has sovereignly elected, not on the basis of what they believe about Him, but according to His will. He changes their beliefs out of His love for them. He makes them able to believe in Him. When we love our children, we need to realize that they are not little clones of us. They will develop their own beliefs and ideas. We can’t stop loving them when they stop agreeing with us. Most parents will understand this and agree. Others will not. Our spouses one day might express a sentiment that catches us off guard. We might even wonder if they are the same person we have been married to for all of those years. Don’t let that stop you from loving them. Your love is not for their beliefs, it is supposed to be from the excess of God’s love, that you love others. Love them not on their merit, but because God has commanded it and it is who you are now. Love as fully, selflessly, and cheerfully as you possibly can. Of course beliefs matter. They matter in many different ways. If we believe incorrectly about who Jesus was then we are not saved. I’m not saying beliefs don’t matter. I am saying they shouldn’t be why you love your kids, spouse, or others. Love doesn’t mean giving up your beliefs. Love doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. Love will compel you to share your heart for the truth as you know it. You will lovingly share the truth with them. They can agree or disagree, but we still need to love them, not their beliefs.

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